From I Want to I’m Thankful

We have a list of things that we think will make feel happy and fulfilled. They all begin with:

I want….

I wish….

I need….

If only….

Basically, we are saying “IF” this happens my life will be wonderful, beautiful, and fulfilled. I had so many of these lists, that I lost track of them all. I found another way to help find happiness though studying self-help books and talking with counselors. I started daily lists of the things I’m thankful for in my life.

Truthfully, at first this was hard. I really didn’t think there were things to be thankful for and some days it was really, really tough. I had to dig deep and examine what I was thankful for, and it was…. just being alive. I was thankful for breathing and living. I was thankful for the air, the sun, the sky and nature. Soon, I started realizing I had much to be thankful and be grateful about. There were many things all around me. It seemed that my life took a turn, and I had more to be thankful about every day.

This exercise has helped me to be optimistic about the future. I still have wants and wishes but I have not made them the ultimate source for happiness. I have turned my wants and wishes into goals to be achieve. The ultimate source for my happiness is enjoying life.

My hope is that this tool will help you when you are feeling overwhelmed also.

Dee

A New Beginning

Yes you can have a new beginning with your life. This has happened to me. I felt so bad about myself for as long as I can remember. I now realized this was a learned behavior perpetrated by my mother. She was very unhappy and exhibited bipolar behavior. She passed her anxieties on to her children to make herself feel better about herself and her situation. So, I have been dealing with all of this “baggage” all of my life. This “baggage” affect my relationships too. I had a hard time trusting people and had no faith in the future. I finally decided I needed help and so I reached out to a couselor. Now I have the tools to work with to handle my insecurities. There are many people that have the experience and skills to help people like me and possibly you. Also, there are books to read about different tools to use, for example Kathryn Alice has a great program.

Thankfully, there seem to be more good days than bad days in my life now. I had been experiencing a writer’s block, but now I have the courage to write again. My hope is that I can start posting snippits of my love stories on this blog soon.

I’m wishing you the best in your life,

Dee

Trust

Trust, to me, is probably the most important part of a relationship. We need to totally trust our partners to be in a soulmate loving relationship or any relationship. We begin to earn each other’s trust during the early stages of a relationship. Then, as it developes we know that trust is there and we don’t have to worry. But unfortnately, all to often, we have relationships where trust has been volated and we end the relationship. It is hard to recover from this sense of violation. We are scared that it will happen again in the next relationship. I have been in relationships where trust has been broken. It is very hurtful and I feel it is unsafe to trust again. But I know not every relationship has trust issues. I have kept on and found that you have to learn to trust for relationships to thrive. The best way to earn trust is to be honest and trueful with one another. It is a learning process and in a new relationship, take babysteps and build on these babysteps. I have done this and have learned to trust again.

Love,

Dee

Healing and Rest

Hello. I’m opening the door to Door to Love, again. I took a break for healing and rest. I believe it is important for everyone to realize it is okay to take sometime for yourself. We get distracted with the hustle and bustle of our everyday life. Then, before we realized we are exhausted and depleted. But, a friend asked for me to start blogging again, when I was ready. And this activated the creative energies again. I have much to blog about and have learned some secrets about Love recently that I would like to share. Please stick with me. This is one secret I have discovered.

Forgive

Love,

Dee

Deserving Love

We all deserve to be loved. Nobody is perfect. Sometimes we put high expectations on ourselves, at least, I do. Who would love my muffin top midriff and my freckles on my nose? Who would love my habit of making a To Do list everyday? Who would love me because I tend to snort when I laugh?

I let these thoughts churn though my head, turning them into major shortcomings when thinking about having a romantic relationship. I create them into fatal flaws, but they are not. And, I am sabotaging myself. Recently, I have realized that one of my biggest hurtle in finding love is to realize I can be loved. I started saying this to myself everyday “I am lovable.” It has helped.

Trust you can be loved. You are lovable, just the way you are.

Dee

Changing a Bad Day

Some days are great, some days are good and some days are bad. A bad day can happen quickly when you are searching on dating apps or dating. The key is to take that bad day and dissolve it into a good day.

I am inspired to have more great and good days than bad days, now. As soon as the day starts going sour, I stop in my tracks and start changing my focus to something I am grateful about or distracting myself with a happy thought. Then, try to keep this happy feeling.  I just remember, that person is not for me. My soulmate is out there waiting. I hope you try this and stay optimistic and happy.

Keep searching and stay happy,

Dee

Smiling

A smile is a friendly, relaxed, and happy signal. A genuine smile signals a positive feeling out to another and can trigger a smile in return. Researcher’s say the muscles you use when you smile trigger’s the brain to produce endorphins, which are the chemicals that relieves pain and stress. Also, I have read that a smile can help with our immune system function effectively.

A genuine, feel good, smile is a small thing that you can do to make others feel good. So let’s smile more.

Sending a smile to you,

Dee

5 Minute Visualization

I was inspired by reading “Adventures for your Soul” by Shannon Kaiser. She says fear can block you from what you want and visualization will overcome this fear. Shannon suggests to take five minutes a day and paint a mental picture of your future life. She says during this visualization imagine every aspect of your life and don’t hold back. Below describes the process in her own words,

“I had a desire to be a travel writer. I visualized myself in other countries, traveling and sharing my my journey with others. I pictured myself sitting on the warm sand looking out into the crystal blue Caribbean Sea. The salty air stung my nose. I imagined the warm sun touching my skin and in my hand was a journal as I jotted down notes from my experience. I smelled the fresh air and visualized every detail as if it were really happening.”

I think I finally get it. I am going to really feel every aspect of my future life while visualizing. I am going to comment to five minute vivid visualizations everyday.

Thanks,

Dee

New Year Resolutions

Happy New Year! Did you make New Year’s resolutions for 2024? Did you achieve them? Now is the time to reflect on your list. Celebrate if you achieved them but don’t be disappointed if you didn’t. 

I never made new year’s resolutions, I lived life as it came. Then one year, I decided to start. And now, every year, I take time and reflect on my dreams and goals. I write them down and make a commitment to achieve these aspirations. I review my list periodically through out the year. It helps me to stay focused on what is important to me. Sometimes I achieve them, sometimes not. Many times they evolve as the year progresses. 

So many times I wonder what is a resolution, affirmation, manifestation and intention. I did some research and here is what I found out. Resolutions usually start with “I won’t” or “I will”. Affirmations are very positive declarations to strengthen yourself “I am”. An intention is a mental commitment to an action. A manifestation is a declaration to a specific outcome aligned with the universe. Hope this helps and doesn’t confuse you. 

This year “I will find love” will be on the top of my resolution list.

What is your 2025 resolution?

Happy New Year,

Dee

Expectations

My happiness grows in direct proportion to my acceptance, and in inverse proportions to my expectations. Michael J. Fox

We have many expectations in our life. There are expectations others have projected to us. There are expectations we put on ourselves, to be something we are not. These expectations usually bring us unhappiness. We must determine who we are and what we truly want. Let’s just enjoy and accept who we really are and try not to live up to false expectations. 

Enjoy your day,

Dee